096 | Seeking Security Outside Yourself

If you’re looking to your financial situation to feel secure, you’re not alone.

So many lawyers think a larger bank account or higher income will make them feel more secure—but they’re mistaken.

In fact, seeking security in your financial situation often leads to never feeling satisfied with what you have.

In this episode, let’s talk about why looking to your financial situation to feel a certain way doesn’t work and how to find security inside yourself instead.

Topics Discussed

• a client case study on wanting a larger savings account balance
• a client case study on thinking her income isn’t enough
• the importance of creating security in your current finances
• why changing your financial situation won’t lead to more security
• how to create security inside yourself

Listen to the Episode 

Resources mentioned

April Money Reset Facebook group:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/aprilmoneyreset

Episode 79: “It’s Not Enough”: https://www.rhothomas.com/its-not-enough 

Work with me

If you’re ready to learn the mindset and strategies to master your money, let’s schedule a call. 

Connect with me

Social media: Instagram and LinkedIn

Email: hello@rhothomas.com

Recent Episodes 

Lightly Edited Transcript

Hey friends, welcome back to the show. I hope you’re doing well and having an amazing day so far. Today we are talking about seeking security in your financial situation versus seeking security inside yourself. I was putting together some coaching for everybody reset if you are not aware that is a public Facebook group I’m doing for the month of April, where I help lawyers get their finances on track. So head to rho thomas.com/reset. If you haven’t joined us here yet, but we’re talking about saving. So I pulled a coaching elite to saving for our money call and what the examples that I pulled with a client who had a goal of increasing her emergency fund. So we first did working together this client thought her emergency fund was at $22,000. And she set a goal to increase that to $30,000 So that was one of the goals she set for our coaching relationship, and when she actually got into her finances and looked at the numbers she realized that she actually had $14,000 in savings rather than 20,000 that she bought. She ended our first month working together with a $9,000 surplus in her budget. And after seeing her account balances she put all of that money into a savings account to bring it back to the $20,000 level. She thought about that before. It was about $23,000 but to put it back up to that $20,000 level for security. And she told me about what she had done in our next session and her choice of language layer. The security part really caught my ear because she was thinking that having a particular savings account balance is what we bring her security and I told her to notice that she was looking for security in her savings account balance versus creating a security within herself. I told her that this look like it’s not enough playing again she and I had discussed before in a different area of our finances and financial comes up a lot for my clients. So if you go back to Episode 79, I thought about it more. But she thought that adding the $9,000 savings account balance will make her feel more secure. And I told her that having $23,000 in savings would not make her feel more secure. And the reason you know that is because she thought she had pointed out notes already and when she thought she was at 20,000 She was able to pretty well. Until she address that thought that is not enough. No amount of savings whether it’s 20,000 30,000 100,000 will make her feel secure. If she continue to think it’s not enough she can continue to feel insecure and it will come up with whatever become balance she has. She had never determined what enough was as far as her savings goes. And when we explored what enough would be for her she decided that 20,000 would actually be more than enough based on her situation and her expenses all that kind of stuff. So now that you can define what enough was for her, she realized that she had more than $3,000 Oh interstate account that she then decided to put towards some personal loan debt. So she feels secure with $10,000 less than original $30,000 goal but she thought she needed the same thing. The only thing that’s changed change the way she’s thinking about curriculum, rather than counseling telling her so she doesn’t have enough savings. She decided what enough was right she decided that this is the right man for her. Another place I see this a lot is with income. So you may think if I just needed more money that could be better, or I will feel more secure or whatever it is. But you’ve likely been running that same thought since you start your career. I told you before about the client who was making 100,000 I was more at the same time we’re working together. Then she becomes you start to talk about it back in episode 79. So go check that one out. But she was telling herself that wasn’t enough. You need to make more. And we explored it. She realized that when she first started out she always thought that she made more money it would be more than enough and now she was making 100 more and still talking about it’s not enough and we do a lot where we look to the outside ourselves trying to feel a certain way, whether that’s secure or sufficient or whatever the emotion is for you. We have to recognize that that’s always our work, right? You can’t delegate it to the bank account or the income or the debt or whatever. These are really good examples of the fact that none of that are going to count income nothing and your financial situation will create the feeling of security or sufficiency or any other emotion they want to feel it’s the same reason why some people make modest salaries and feel secure and at peace with finances, and others make six or seven figures and always feel stressed and anxious and like the bottom is always the fallout. If you don’t create security for yourself with your current finances. You’re not gonna have it means something to change the same facility running and you still feel the same way making more and still making you making more money or having an account balance. Do you mind paying a little bit more when you feel a little better? It’s up to you that work to determine how you want to get your finances and how you want to push them. So if you want to finance it in terms of never having enough and always plan only pay more or do you think about them in terms of having what you need having enough or whatever makes you feel more secure or you know whatever. And that’s it from that place of security what you want to do. It’s a very different energy saving because you want to get the savings that you need as a four to be secure. If you can’t feel secure with what you have now, where you are now. You’re not gonna feel it. Whatever you’re envisioning for your finances in future. It will never feel enough you’ll always be chasing after more. So it’s doing that work to decide okay, what is enough for me, right? How do I want to go about my finances? How will I feel more secure? And then practicing thinking about approaching your finances in that way. And as you do, you’ll start to feel more secure your finances, even if your bank account income, whatever other vital circumstances have changed. But of course, as you do that work. As you lean into the way you wanna think and that will help you feel more secure then you will naturally start to improve your financial circumstances as well. So that’s the beauty of investing, rather than only focusing on numbers strategy and exactly what I do with my clients. So if you are ready to change the way you think about money, to better have your money and improve finances for good, head to rhothomas.com/call, and let’s schedule a consultation. All right, so that’s it for this week’s episode. Come join me over on social media rho Thomas on LinkedIn and I am rho Thomas on Instagram. Subscribe to the show and leave a rating and review. All that helps people find show and of course sharing the friend will help people find it as well. As we close out friend I pray that you seriously consider where you’re outsourcing or security or sufficiency or peace to external factors. I pray that you do the work to cultivate those emotions you wanna feel inside yourself and stop looking to outside things to make you feel a particular way. And as always I pray that you continue to take steps to regain control of your time, build wealth, and live the life of freedom and choice you deserve. Talk to you later.