071 | How Are You Already Good with Money?

Many lawyers believe they’re not good with money. It often stems from black-and-white thinking, where we think we’re failing if we’re not completely perfect at something. But of course there are nuances in every situation, and your finances are no different.

In this episode, we talk about how viewing yourself as bad with money affects the way you handle your money. Plus, we explore some ways you’re already good with money.

Lightly edited transcript appears after the show notes.

Topics Discussed

• black-and-white thinking
• examples of lawyers who believe they’re bad with money but already have some good money habits
• what happens when you constantly tell yourself you’re bad with money
• examples of ways you’re already good with money

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Lightly Edited Transcript

Hey friend. Welcome back to the show. I hope you’re doing well and having an amazing day so far. So today, we’re talking about being good with money. And specifically, we’re looking at the ways you’re already good with your money. So many lawyers have this belief that they’re not good with money, and it’s just the view they have of themselves. They’ve been telling themselves this story of being bad with money for so long, that they’ve internalized it. And as you can imagine, that kind of belief really affects the things that you do or don’t do with your money. So lawyers tend to be really good at seeing nuances in cases and deals and such. But when it comes to looking at ourselves, and evaluating the things that we’ve done, we look at everything as black and white. I know that’s a generalization and it probably doesn’t apply to every single lawyer in the world. But I have so much anecdotal evidence to support it. So clearly, that means it’s super reliable. But we often think in extremes, so if I’m not killing it, then I’m failing. Right? I had a call with a client, but got tripped up when they asked a strategy question about their case. So now I’m a terrible lawyer. I ate a cookie so my whole meal plan is ruined. I might as well just eat whatever I want. I spent more than I planned to when I shopped and so I might as well throw my whole budget out the window. We are so type A and want to get everything perfect. And we’re super hard on ourselves unnecessarily. We don’t notice the gray areas in our lives and the things that we’re doing. And so coming back to being bad with money. Often clients have this belief when they first come to me. But as we get into the conversation, a lot of times, they’re already doing some really good things with their money. To give you a couple of examples, one client told me how she’s so bad with money and doesn’t feel confident and doesn’t know what she’s doing. But she pays her credit card off every month, and has 30 or $40,000 saved for retirement. Another client was talking about being out of control and needing to get a handle on his money and all of that. But then he pulled out all these spreadsheets and knew what his core expenses where each month and how much he makes and his net worth and his debt balances. Other clients have similar stories and in each instance, yes, there are things that we can improve or tweak to get them moving in the direction they want to go. But it’s not that they’re bad with money. Maybe they’re not doing every single thing with their money perfectly. But that doesn’t automatically equate to being bad with money. Like I consider myself to be great with money, but I don’t do everything. Perfectly. There’s always gray area. As much as we’d like to think everything is black and white. Either I’m good with money or I’m bad with money. You want to look at the nuances of your situation. So while there may be things you want to improve, that doesn’t mean that you’re just terrible and completely failing at life and money. There are some things you’re doing well, but you’re probably overlooking them the way you talk to yourself matters the way you see yourself and what you believe about yourself will affect how you handle your money. So if you’re always telling yourself that you’re bad with money, or you suck or you don’t know what you’re doing, or you’ll never get it right. Are you really going to feel motivated to look at your finances and make sure you’re staying on track to reach your goals? Probably not, right? If you’re always beating yourself up for every mistake, you’re not going to enjoy managing your money so you just won’t do it. So notice if you find yourself doing this, and it doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong. Right as I said before, a lot of lawyers and a lot of people generally think like this. But if you find yourself in this place, I want you to look at the things you’re already doing well. Are you paying your bills on time, even if you’re not making progress with paying off debt or saving or whatever goal you have. Paying your bills on time is something you’re doing well, right. Are you spending within the amount you make each month? Maybe you’re not saving, but you’re not overspending either. That’s not being bad with money and even if you are spending more than you make, but you recognize it like that awareness is a step in the right direction are you saving some amount even if you think it’s small, and you’d like to be saving more? Like the fact that you’re saving something is good? Yes, you may want to be doing more, but acknowledge that what you’re already doing is good. If you’re not actively saving right now, do you have savings? That’s not bad with money. Even if you want to save more or save more consistently. You have some savings. That is something that you’re doing well or something that you have done well with your money maybe you want to be paying off your debt, and you haven’t been able to put extra toward it the way you want to. But you’re keeping up with your debt payments. That’s great. Maybe you plan some of your spending ahead of time. For example, you might plan for a vacation or something like that, like that planning ahead. Is something good that you’re doing with your money. And let’s say that none of those things are true. You know, let’s go to the place where you’re overspending and you’re paying your bills late and you’re not saving, like none of the things that we just talked about are true. But the fact that you’re listening to this podcast is something you are learning, you’re educating yourself. That’s good. So acknowledge that when you’re looking at how you’re managing your money and what you’re doing, right look at those things that you’re already doing that are going well, because there’s something always something that you’re doing this going well. Everything you’re doing is not completely terrible. Maybe you don’t have all the spreadsheets and track all of your numbers in detail. But I just gave you some examples of some areas where you could be already good with money. And it doesn’t have to be that you have everything completely perfect and you never make a mistake and whatever else you might think is required for you to be good with money. Like I said, I consider myself to be very good with money and I make mistakes. I go over budget. Sometimes it’s a thing, right? You don’t have to be completely perfect and never do anything, quote wrong, to be good with money. So I want you to look at what you’re doing already. Take stock of your finances your you know your entire financial situation. And ask yourself what’s going well here. Use the list that we talked about before and add to it like my list is not the end all be all. Your list might be completely different. But you can always find something that you’re doing well. Once you find the things you’re doing well keep them in mind. The next time your brain goes to this place that you’re bad with money like when you’re thinking you’re bad with money telling yourself you’re bad with money. Remember these things that you’re already doing well, sure, there might be things that you can improve, but acknowledge the things that are already going well. And when you focus on the things you’re doing well, rather than believing everything is completely terrible and you suck at money, you’ll probably feel more motivated to actually look at your finances and continue to improve. And when you’re ready to build on the things you’re already doing well and take it to the next level to really start crushing your money goals, reach out to me head to rho Thomas comm slash coaching and let’s schedule a call to chat. Alright, so that’s it for this week’s episode. Come connect with me on LinkedIn and Instagram at I am rho Thomas. And let’s keep this conversation going. Please also take a second to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review, both of which help others find the show. And of course please share this episode with others who you think would find it useful. And if you share on social media don’t forget to tag me Okay, friend, as we close out, I pray that you will take some time to think about what good things you’re already doing with your money. I pray that you will view those things as evidence that you can continue to improve your finances. And as always, I pray that you continue to take steps to regain control of your time, build wealth and live the life of freedom and choice you deserve. Talk to you later.