101 | Liminal Moments

Creating new results in any area requires becoming the person who has the results you want to create.

In the transition from who you’ve been to who you’re becoming, you will experience liminal moments—those moments along the journey that bring you closer to where you want to be or keep you where you are currently.

In this episode, let’s talk about liminal moments, including the tension many people experience in their liminal moments and the important role they play on your journey to better finances.

Topics Discussed

• the definition of “liminal” and how it applies to managing your money
• the way we often think the process of learning something new goes and how it actually goes
• examples of liminal moments in the process of managing your money better
• the most important thing to remember about liminal moments

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Resources mentioned

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If you’re ready to learn the mindset and strategies to master your money, let’s schedule a call. 

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Email: hello@rhothomas.com

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Lightly Edited Transcript

You’re listening to Wealthyesque. We are a community of lawyers who believe that true wealth is having control of our time. I’m Rho Thomas, and as a busy wife, mom and former Biglaw associate, I know all too well the tension between the culture of the legal profession and pretty much everything else you want to do in life. That’s why each week, I’m bringing you the information and tools you need to improve your money mindset and manage your money to create true wealth. Because ultimately, it’s not about the money. It’s about the freedom and flexibility the money affords.

Hey friend. Welcome back to the show. I hope you’re doing well and having an amazing day so far. So today we are talking about liminal moments, those moments where you’re in transition. You’re not where you started, but you’re not quite to your destination either. You are in the middle of the journey. The term liminal as defined by Google means relating to a transitional or initial stage of a process or occupying a position at or on both sides of a boundary or threshold. And those definitions apply perfectly to our conversation today. Because as you’re learning to manage money better, you are transitioning from the way you’ve been managing your finances to a new way of managing them. You are transitioning from the way you’ve been thinking about money to a new way of thinking about it. And as you make that transition, there is this period where you’re almost like straddling both sides of the line, or as the definition states that you are occupying a position at or on both sides of the threshold, but you’re not fully in your old way of thinking and managing your money, but you’re also not fully in the new way either. So if we think about the process of learning to manage money better or learn to do anything really making any sort of change, we often think it will be a straight line from point A to point B right point A in this case being the way you’re thinking about money and your money right now we are you don’t know what’s going on. You don’t know your money’s going. You are feeling confused, maybe stressed and you don’t have the finances you want. And then point B is know where your money’s going and how to direct it and feeling confident certain and achieving your financial goals. And it’s not a straight line from point A to point B. There are twists and turns and loops and back steps along the way. You take some steps forward and then you go on a detour and then you move back around and get back on track. And then you take a couple steps back and then you get going in the right direction again and you keep going like that until you ultimately reach your destination. Another way I think about this is standing in the middle of a bridge and where you started is behind you at the beginning of the bridge and where you want to be is ahead of you on the other side of the bridge. And as you work on your finances, you’re crossing this bridge to the other side. And there are times where you’re looking back at the point where you started. And you may even start to turn back because you’re more familiar with that side. If you’re easier or more comfortable and you understand that side better. And of course your brain likes comfort and ease and understanding. And then there are other times where you’re moving really quickly across the board the other side and there’s times where you’re inching along just moving forward. All of those loops and turns and detours and look backs and speed ups and inching along. All of that is a liminal moment. All of those are liminal moments, right, these moments in the middle of who you are and who you are becoming that can either bring you closer to where you want to be or take you back toward where you started. They are opportunities for you to strengthen or believe in the person that you’re becoming and the goal is you’re going after or move toward who you are and stay the same. So to give you a few concrete examples, it’s those moments when you plan your spending ahead of time. When you choose to look at the budget you planned or not. When you decide to spend more than what you’re planning to spend when you set a date to look at your finances each week and see where you are in relation to your goals for the month when you keep that date or decide to skip it when you decide to be out more than usual this month, when you commit to making x amount of progress on your financial goals this month. All of those examples are things that we do that keep us where we were, or take us closer to work. There’s this quote I love from James clear that says every action you take is a vote for the person you want to become. Sometimes you don’t have to do everything exactly perfectly right all the time. Right? You just want to have more votes for the place that you’re going, the person you’re becoming, versus the place that you’ve been the person that you are. You don’t decide that you’re gonna be better with your finances and then from then on, you only ever make perfect choices all the time in service of your goals in the end, right like we already talked about. Your journey is gonna look like oops and next steps and getting off track and getting back on track and taking two steps forward and one step back. Sometimes that’s normal, that’s part of a process it’s normal to be in the middle the bridge and looking back at this person who you used to be and taking steps back in that direction and feeling doubtful that you can actually make it to the other side or that you can actually stay on the other side. Once you get there. Right. That’s normal. You’re in transition as you’re learning to manage money in a different way. You are changing the way that you think about money, the way that you manage your money. And it’s not going to be an overnight process while you’re going through and learning how to do it and maybe close to a different way of thinking that you’re not used to and challenging yourself to do different things. You’re at that boundary, right, that threshold between where you were and where you’re going your ultimate goals with money. You’re on the verge of becoming a new person. You’re not who you used to be, but you’re not quite you’re becoming either and you’re going to experience these liminal moments along the way that test you and it’s up to you to determine what you do with them. It can be uncomfortable to be in the transition and feel tension between the way you used to manage money and the way you’re going to manage it as you encounter those liminal moments. It can be frustrating to find yourself in one of the loops or on a detour or not moving forward as quickly as you’d like. But if you keep moving forward despite the discomfort, keep moving toward the possibility of achieving this goal you set for yourself. Keep moving toward the person that you are becoming keep casting votes for that version of yourself. Eventually, you stop looking back as much you stop going off on the detours and taking roundabout routes and before you know it you make it through the other side. You’re there right you achieve your goal and you become the person you’ve been working to become the person who has the finances that you want. So it’s not about your journey being a straight line forward going the same speed the whole time. You are taking steps toward the person that you want to be casting votes for that person you want to become with each action into those little moments along the way. And sometimes you slip back into your old habits, but if overall Your journey is moving you toward your goal, this person that you becoming then you’re doing great. And if you are ready to do this work and navigate your liminal moments on the way to the finances you want I invite you to work with me. Your first step is scheduling a consultation so we can chat about what’s going on with your finances now and the goal is you have is risk free and 100% complimentary so head to rho thomas.com/call to schedule yours. Alright, that’s it for this episode. Connect with me over on social media rho Thomas on LinkedIn and I am rho Thomas on Instagram. Subscribe to the show and leave a review both of which help more people to find the show. And please share this episode with a friend or two who can benefit from this information as we close out friend I pray that you recognize how normal it is to experience tension between who you were and who you’re becoming and you’re learning something new like managing your finances. I pray that you give yourself grace in the liminal moments along the pathway to your journey. And as always, I pray that you continue to take steps to regain control your time, build wealth, and live the life of freedom and choice you deserve. Talk to you later.