118 | Circle of Influence

Who are the people influencing your financial decisions?

For many of us, it’s people who think the same way we do, manage money the same way we do, and reinforce the beliefs we already have about money.

Elevating your circle of influence gives you access to new ways of thinking about money and new financial strategies you may not even be aware of.

In this episode, let’s talk about the importance of curating your circle of influence and putting yourself around people who have achieved the things you want to achieve.

Topics Discussed

• the people we typically allow to influence our financial decisions
• the issue with our typical circle of influence
• putting yourself around people who are where you want to be
• the power of seeing people in similar or less favorable positions achieving things you didn’t realize were possible
• how to get accomplished people in your circle of influence
• what it means when someone is doing better than you with their finances
• the other side of the struggle story

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Resources mentioned

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If you’re ready to learn the mindset and strategies to master your money, let’s schedule a call. 

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Email: hello@rhothomas.com

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Lightly Edited Transcript

You’re listening to Wealthyesque. We are a community of lawyers who believe that true wealth is having control of our time. I’m Rho Thomas, and as a busy wife, mom and former Biglaw associate, I know all too well the tension between the culture of the legal profession and pretty much everything else you want to do in life. That’s why each week, I’m bringing you the information and tools you need to improve your money mindset and manage your money to create true wealth. Because ultimately, it’s not about the money. It’s about the freedom and flexibility the money affords.

Hey friend. Welcome back to the show. I hope you’re doing well and having an amazing day so far. Today we are talking about your circle of influence. I’ve heard this term talked about in the context of the things and people within your power to influence and I think it’s a concept that first came from Stephen Covey. But just as you influence certain people, there are people who influence you as well. You’ve probably heard that you’re the average of the five people that you spend the most time with. And I don’t know if there are specific statistics or anything backing that up. But it makes sense that the people you spend the most time with will greatly influence the things you do in your own life. And so when we’re talking about getting your finances in order, managing your money better achieving the financial goals that you have, who are the people that you’re spending the most time with, who are the people who are influencing your financial decisions, what are the conversations you’re having about money? What are the things you’re listening to and allowing to be spoken over you and your finances? Often, it’s a bunch of other people who think the same way you do about money so you validate each other. It may be people who believe it’s always a struggle and you’ll be paying your student loans until the day you die and it is what it is YOLO I’ll never get rich. I’ll never be able to make the amount of money that I want to make I work hard I deserve to treat myself I’ll worry about the money another time, right? All of these things that we often say to ourselves and to each other. I once heard Bishop TD Jakes who is a prominent pastor if you’re not familiar with him, but I heard him say something to the effect of you don’t learn anything, reading a book you wrote. And what he meant by that was you can’t grow or learn when you’re surrounding yourself with people who think exactly the same way as you do have the same experiences the same outlook, right? And that’s true in all aspects of life, especially your money. When that is your circle of influence, when that’s what you’re hearing over and over again, you conform to that same level of thinking. It’s like a fish in water. You don’t realize that there is anything different and if you’re not where you want to be financially, and you don’t have a concrete plan to get there. And you’re always in this echo chamber of people talking about money the same way you think about it, reinforcing your current beliefs about money, it’s going to be really hard for you to accomplish the things that you want to accomplish with your finances. But when you put yourself around people who are better with their money than you are, who have achieved the things you want to achieve, who can bring you a fresh perspective on money, who can teach you new strategies, who can open you up to possibilities that maybe you don’t even realize are available right now? Then you’re gonna be able to make some different choices with your finances, which means you’ll inevitably be able to achieve new things simply because you’ll believe they’re possible for you. I have found it especially powerful to see people who are similar to me or in similar positions. As me doing things I didn’t know where possible, where even people who are in less favorable positions, right, like for example, when I first learned about the concept of financial independence, which is the point at which you no longer need to work because your investment and other assets can cover your living expenses. I first learned about it from stories of people who may have what I was making at the time, and they were able to build wealth and retire early. So when you see people in positions like yours more in quote, less favorable conditions, it makes it even easier for you to see that it’s possible for you to so all the excuses you make for yourself go out the window, and it’s not limited to people who are similar to you. You can draw inspiration from other people’s stories and find the pieces of them that apply to you. Okay, so how do you get these people in your circle of influence? If you don’t have people in your actual life? Who are in the position you want to be in? You are in the best time right the age of the internet. My Circle of Influence includes multimillionaires and billionaires and successful entrepreneurs and people who are doing other things that I want to do in my life. I can listen to their podcasts, I can watch YouTube videos, I can read books, and as I’m listening to them and the way that they think about money, or reading about the way they think about money or business or whatever the topic is, it helps to change the way that I think about money and business and these other aspects of my life. I see things that are possible that I didn’t know were possible before. I become aware of things I didn’t know about before. And I see how these people think about these topics and how they approach these areas of their lives differently from the way that I do. And it helps me to determine if I want to make some changes in my own life and the way that I approach these things. Because if they’ve accomplished the things that I want to accomplish, then I know they’re doing something different. They’re believing something different from what I’m doing. I’m believing now. Then taking it a step further, right. In recent years. I have paid for access to some of the entrepreneurs by joining the programs and Masterminds to grow my business. So one of the multimillionaires in my circle of influence, has talked about how he pays for access and how he believes that part of why he’s been able to grow his business and build wealth so quickly, is because he was able to take the shortcuts simply by learning directly from people who had already done what he wants to do. And I completely agree. I’ve picked up so much from being able to learn directly from people who are where I want to be and being able to apply their teachings to my own business. And there was also an up leveling effect to pain because I had more skin in the game. I definitely took it more seriously because I didn’t want to waste my money. So when I see someone doing better than I am in whatever area of my life, I know it’s only because they’re thinking and doing things differently than I am when someone is doing better than you financially, they’re where you want to be financially accomplishing the money goals that you want to accomplish. It’s only because they’re thinking about money differently and doing different things with their money than you are and you can change that. Right once you learn different strategies, learn different ways of thinking, adopt new beliefs about your finances and apply it all to your own financial situation. It completely changes everything. But it all starts with just becoming aware of the different strategies and ways of thinking and opening up to the possibility of being able to do the same things with your own money. So you want to watch your circle. Make sure that you are not only surrounding yourself with doom and gloom and everybody’s struggling just trying to get ahead and this is just the way it is because it’s not true, right? Yes, there are people who are struggling at all income levels. There are a lot of people living beyond their means, even though they’re making a lot of money. For some people the struggle is real. But if you surround yourself with people who think like that, who manage their money like that, if that’s what you constantly hear about money, then you can’t help to think about money the same way and do the same kinds of things with your money. It’ll feel normal to you. Like I remember before I ever learned anything about personal finance. I would spend all my money in the week after I got paid and that was completely normal. Everyone around me did the same thing. And we were all brought together. Right? So that was like, you know, college and of course learn how to manage a little bit better so that I wasn’t going a full week with no pay once I got out on my own. But that was so normal in that time. And what happens most often like what you see most often, what you talk about most often will become normalized in your mind and it’s gonna be reflected in what you do with your money and ultimately the outcomes that you have with your money. So what you actually have in your bank accounts, your debt balances, how you feel about money, etc. The struggle story is not all there is there are so many people who are in the exact same position as people who are struggling and that they make the same or similar income they have the same family situation same kind of job, but they’re doing different things with their money because they think differently about money. And if you start surrounding yourself with people like that people who think a little differently, people who are using different strategies, people who are building wealth, it will help you change the way that you think about your money and do the things that you want to do with your money as well. You start to see how they think about and handle their money. And you can take on some of those thoughts and actions and see the glimpse of possibility that you could be where they are in a way that maybe you don’t see it in your current circle. So that is what I have for you today. curate your circle of influence and the people you listen to about money and that will change everything for you if you apply the things that you’re learning from those people. And if you would like for me to be a part of your circle of influence to coach you and teach you to manage your money differently so that you can pay off your debt save more and start building wealth. I invite you to work with me head to rho thomas.com/call. And let’s set up some time to talk Alright, that’s it for this week’s episode. Come connect with me over on social media. You can find me on LinkedIn rho Thomas, and on Instagram at I am rho Thomas. Subscribe to the show and leave a review both of which helped more people to find it and please take a second think of a friend or two who could use this information and share it with them. As we close out friend I pray that you take the information you learn here, apply it in your life and open up to the realization that wealth is available to you. As you do that consistently. Week after week. You’ll continue to take steps to regain control of your time, build wealth and live the life of freedom and choice you deserve. Talk to you later.