331 | Will You Be Satisfied?

Dissatisfaction and discontentment quietly run many lawyers’ lives and finances, and they’ve probably never given it much thought.

A lot of debt, stress, and worry can be attributed to these two things.

They also prevent people from building wealth.

In this episode, let’s look at your money and lifestyle through a lens you may not have considered before and talk about how to make sure you avoid the trap that many lawyers fall into.

• • whether you’d be satisfied without ever getting the things you dream of

  • the many lawyers who get into financial issues chasing bigger and better stuff

  • the motivations behind our spending

  • the importance of enough

  • examining your own purchasing decisions

“Satisfied” – The Walls Group (YouTube link)

The Art of Spending Money – Morgan Housel

The Psychology of Money – Morgan Housel

Apply for a coaching session

You’re listening to Personal Finance for Lawyers. I’m Rho Thomas, and as a busy wife, mom, and former Biglaw associate, I know all too well the tension between the culture of the legal profession and pretty much everything else you want to do in life. That’s why each week, I’m bringing you the information and tools you need to improve your money mindset and manage your money to create true wealth. Because ultimately, it’s not about the money. It’s about the freedom and flexibility the money affords.

Hey friend. Welcome back.

Today, I want to talk about satisfaction and contentment, and I want to share with you a song called “Satisfied” by The Walls Group. The song is maybe like 10 years old, something like that, and it’s a gospel song. But I think it’s particularly relevant to our conversation today.

So the lyrics go, “If I never get that house, that car, or be a superstar, and my dreams never come true, will I be satisfied with you?”

And with it being a gospel song, the “you” in the song is talking about Jesus. If you’re a believer, consider that question for yourself. But even if not, let’s think about this with respect to life in general and our money.

If you never get the house, the car, the promotion, partnership, membership in the social club that you want, the private school for your kids, that dream vacation, will you still be satisfied with your life?

I have talked to hundreds of lawyers over the years, and one thing that I’ve noticed is, for the majority of them, their money troubles have come from always chasing the next big thing, and they are feeling stressed, and they’re waiting for the other shoe to drop because they have stretched the limits of their finances so far, trying to keep up a particular lifestyle, trying to do the things that their colleagues or their friends are doing, and do the things that they think that they’re supposed to do as lawyers.

And don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with buying a new car or a bigger house or a luxury bag or taking a vacation, if you want those things. But I think it’s important to number one check your motivations, and number two make sure that your finances can support them.

I am currently reading “The Art of Spending Money” by Morgan Housel, and it is excellent. And one of the things that he talks about is that many people buy flashy things because they want to gain love and respect and admiration. So their motivation for buying these things is to get the love, the respect, the admiration of those around them, but buying the things will never give you that.

He used some examples of well-known people to make his point. And these are probably not his exact words. I know they’re not his exact words, but he said something like, “Even if Jeff Bezos or your favorite pro athlete rode a bike and lived in a modest house, people would still know who they are, and they would still respect and admire them because of the things that they’ve been able to accomplish, not because of what they drive or the house they live in.” It’s such a great book. He’s also the author of “The Psychology of Money,” which I highly recommend, as well.

But to his point, nobody cares about the car you drive or the house you live in but you. The car you drive, the house you live in, don’t impact anyone but you and your family. And if someone does care that much, because I guess it’s, it’s probably too much to say nobody cares. There are people who care a whole lot about what other people are doing, but those people have too much time on their hands and too little business of their own. There is no need for you to run yourself into the ground trying to impress them.

There’s always something bigger and seemingly better out there, and you can keep chasing more and more forever. And if it’s coming from a place of what you have not being good enough and needing to have more to prove yourself, then you will stay miserable your entire life. And I hate to break it to you, but even if you get those things, you probably won’t be satisfied then either because you’ll find more to chase.

One of the most valuable things you can have in this world is enough. There are so many people who have the money and they just keep chasing more. It’s like this, this scoreboard or something of just constantly needing more. If you never know when you’ve got enough, you’ll just keep staying in that cycle, in that chase.

Having enough is also one of the biggest keys to building wealth, because again, if you don’t feel like it’s enough, you feel like you still need a better house, a better car, a better this, a better that. Then you’re going to continue to spend all your money chasing those things, and you don’t have money left for your financial goals, for saving and investing and paying down your debt.

In fact, chasing those things probably leads to you getting in even more debt. I’ve seen it so often where people are crushed by all of the monthly payments for all the stuff that they felt like they had to buy.

So I pose the question again: If you never get the house, the car, the promotion, partnership, the social club, the private school, will you be satisfied? If not, I encourage you to consider why not and what you’re hoping to get from those things. What is your motivation behind trying to achieve those things? Is it because you truly want them? Just because you are a car person, or you value certain types of homes, or whatever it is.

Or are you trying to signal something about your status to other people? Are you trying to impress someone? Are you trying to gain love and admiration and respect.

If it’s the latter, you’re gonna keep chasing those things because you get it, you get the car, you get the house, and it really is not going to feel the way that you think it will. Nobody cares the way that you think they will.

In any event, I hope this episode makes everyone think about the motivations behind the things you buy. It’s such an interesting thing to think about, and it may lead to some different decisions.

And as always, if you find yourself in a position of having money troubles from past decisions, you need a little guidance, you want someone to help you map out a plan, apply for a coaching session at rhothomas.com/apply. I’m always happy to help.

All right, so that is it for this week’s episode. Please share this one with a friend or two. I think this is an important conversation to have, especially within the legal community. And as always, I appreciate your support.

As we close out, friend, I pray that you take the information you learn here, apply it in your life, and open up to the realization that wealth is available to you. As you do that consistently, week after week, you’ll continue to take steps to take back control of your time, build wealth, and live the life of freedom and choice you deserve. Talk to you later.