087 | Gratitude for Past Versions of You

Every decision you’ve made to this point has led you to the life you have now.

Often we look at where we are and think about all the things in the past that we wish we had done differently or that we regret.

But we rarely take the time to look at all the things we’ve done that have gone right and all the good things our previous actions—mistakes and all—have led to.

In this episode, we chat about being grateful for the previous versions of you and making decisions in the present that future versions of you will thank you for.

Lightly edited transcript appears after the show notes.

Topics Discussed

• the way we tend to look at past mistakes
• the impact of our past on our present
• previous versions of me that have allowed me to be where I am today
• why it’s important to give yourself grace for past mistakes
• why feeling grateful for your past is more productive than feeling regret
• making decisions that your future self will be grateful for

Listen to the Episode

Resources mentioned

Atomic Habits by James Clear

Essentialism by Greg McKeown

Work with me

If you’re ready to learn the mindset and strategies to master your money, let’s schedule a call.

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Social media: Instagram and LinkedIn

Email: hello@rhothomas.com

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Lightly Edited Transcript

Hey friend. Welcome back to the show. I hope you’re doing well and having an amazing day so far. Today we are talking about gratitude for the past versions of you. Life is a series of decisions and every decision you’ve made to this point has led you to the life that you have now. Often we will look at where we are and think about all the things in the past that we wish we had done differently, or that we regret or that have attributed to us not being as far along as we may have liked to be. But we rarely take the time to look at all the ways that things we did have gone right, right, all the good things that those less than ideal situations have led to and that’s especially true with respect to money, but even if you are not where you want to be financially, you wouldn’t be where you are right now, without all those past versions of you, and the mistakes and missteps and all of that. Every mistake you’ve made every not quite right thing you’ve done. Every embarrassing thing you wish to take back. All the different decisions you’ve made have led you to the exact person you are today. The person who is so conscious about your finances, that you’re spending your free time listening to a lady who used to be multiple, six figures in debt, talk about money, although we might not like every decision that we’ve made, or every single thing we’ve done in past we wouldn’t be where we are now without having made those decisions or done those things. So that way my husband I realized that we had over $670,000 of debt, almost half a million of which by student loans. I remember feeling a lot of shame, and a lot of embarrassment and a lot of regret for where we were, if you’re not aware of the reason that we looked at that and got a handle on where we were in the first place was we had just had our first kid and I was considering taking advantage of my friends reduced our policy. So under that policy, I could have done a percentage like let’s say 80% of the billable hour requirement. For 80% of my salary or whatever percentage I chose. But because of where we were financially, we couldn’t afford to take a pay cut like that. And so I wasn’t able to take advantage of that policy, even though I wanted to, and I went back to work full time. It definitely sucked in the moment. Let’s be clear, but when I look back on all of that, I’m so grateful to those past versions of myself. The version that got into six figures or student loan debt and married into even more student loan debt, the version that thought she was doing what she was supposed to do with our money, doing well with money, but lost so much of it because she just didn’t have any intention planned for each month. The version that decided to look at the state of her family finances and how much student loan debt we actually had. The version of that decided to research how to improve the family’s finances. The version that her husband on board with the plan and the version that took action on that plan consistently. All of those past versions have led me to be right here with you doing work that I absolutely love, helping you improve your finances and open up more options for yourself. And none of that would have been possible if it weren’t for all the mistakes my husband made first. And so I’m truly grateful to those past versions of us and all decisions I’ve made that ultimately led us to where we are that have contributed to what we’re doing now and the way that we’re able to live our lives now. Even though every single decision you’ve made isn’t necessarily one that you will make now, it was the best decision that you could have made with the information and tools you had at the time. So give yourself some grace for things that you did without having the information you have now, like it’s very easy to look back and judge all the things that you’ve done in the past from the lens of the future, with the benefit of having, you know, full hindsight, knowing how things turned out and all of that. But in that moment in the past, you didn’t have that information, right? You didn’t have all of that you did the best that you could do. So to beat yourself up now for doing your best in the past is really hurtful and not productive. Think about if you would do those things or say those same things to a friend or family member or even a colleague or a stranger. Right? The way we talk to ourselves is so harsh at times and we never talk to another person that way. And we would never allow another person to talk to us that way. So taking time to be grateful for all the things that you did with information that you had giving yourself grace, not beating yourself up for making mistakes, right? All of that is going to be helpful because you’re not going to make the progress that you want to make beating yourself up and shaming yourself and regretting all the things and then feeling guilty feeling embarrassed. You know, all of that is not helpful. You’re never going to take productive action from that place. If anything, you’re going to avoid your finances. You’re gonna avoid talking about your finances. You’re gonna avoid seeking help with your finances, because you’re thinking that you should have done something different in the past and you’re making yourself wrong for just doing your best. So I want you to be kind to yourself and find that place of gratitude for the previous versions of you that have gotten you to where you are now. What if everything that has happened to this point has happened for you? Look at how all of those things have come together to create the life that you have now, and how any one of those things in the past being different would have resulted in you living a completely different life now. I’m so grateful to the previous version of me and a previous version of my husband who decided to take steps to change our financial situation. And I think often about the future versions of us and doing things in the present that will make the future versions of us grateful to the present versions of us. We think about the person that you will be at some point in the future. Will that version of you be grateful for what you’re doing today? I love this quote from James clear. He says every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. I think it’s from his book atomic habits, but I’ve heard him give so many interviews like it could be from one of those. But your way, every action you take is moving you closer to the person you want to be. Every decision you make in the present is moving you closer to the person you want to be in the future. So are you taking action making decisions with that person in mind? Or are you just doing things to make a decision without any regard to how they’ll affect you in the future? I’ve talked about Greg McEwen in his book essentialism before but he talks about this concept of living your life by design, not by default, making intentional decisions for how you want to live your life and making the life creating the life that you want. Are the actions that you’re taking, moving toward the life you want to create are the actions that the future version of you the version you want to be would take. And it’s not to say that you won’t still make mistakes. Of course it’s not to make mistakes. Right. There’ll be things that you do now that the future version of you will be set in different ways you learn, you grow and improve, you evaluate, you try new things. And over time, if you keep making decisions and taking action in line with a person who you want to be in the future, you eventually become that person. So I want you to think about being grateful to the past versions of you for getting you to where you are currently. And I want you to think about the future versions of you being grateful for the things that you’re doing today. If you know that the things you’re currently doing and the decisions you’re currently making with your money are not moving you toward the financial future you want and you’re ready to start taking actions at the future version of you will be grateful for then reach out to me and let’s talk about how we can work together just head to rho thomas.com/call and set up your free consultation. Alright, so that’s it for this week’s episode. Connect with me over on social media, my handle on Instagram is at I am rho Thomas, and I’m also really active on LinkedIn. Subscribe to the show and leave a written review both of which help the show be seen by more people. And please share with a friend or two if you’re so inclined. As we close out friend I pray that you will find gratitude for the past versions of you who did the best they could with what they had. I pray that you will make decisions in line with the future you want for yourself and that future versions of you will be grateful for and as always, I pray that you continue to take steps to regain control of your time build wealth and live the life of freedom of choice you deserve. Talk to you later.