065 | The Danger of Comfort

Many people fail to hit their money goals because they default to their normal money habits, which feel comfortable.

But achieving your money goals often involves behaviors and habits that are different from the ones you’re used to, which means there’s inevitably some discomfort involved.

In this episode, we talk about why your current habits feel more comfortable, the way you’re prioritizing your comfort and your money goals, and some tips to stay on track with your money goals.

Lightly edited transcript appears after the show notes.

Topics Discussed

• why your current habits feel comfortable
• the way you’re prioritizing your comfort and your money goals
• tips to stay on track with your money goals

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Resources mentioned

Lifestyle Freedom Starter Guide

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Lightly Edited Transcript

Hey friends, welcome back to the show, I hope you are doing well and having an amazing day so far. So today we are talking about why doing what feels good, or what feels comfortable is keeping you from your money goals. We have talked before about how our brains are wired to avoid change. The brain has all these neural pathways based on our behaviors and things that we learn and all that, and the neural pathways for habits that you have, or things you’ve done over and over, are really strong. The ones for a new habit you’re forming or a new skill you’re learning are much weaker, and I heard an analogy once that I thought was really effective to illustrate how this works, and it may help you like understand if it’s at all unclear. So this person compared the neural pathways for our habits and ingrained behaviors like those things that we do over and over and have done so many times before, to well worn paths in the woods. So you keep walking that same path over and over and you can clearly see where you’re supposed to be stepping and where the path leads, and it’s this you know defined trail. Right. On the other hand, when you’re forming a new habit or developing a new skill. It’s like going off the beaten path in the woods, so there’s no set trail to follow and there’s all kinds of leaves and trees and brush and you can’t see a clearly defined path. But as you continue to take that new less defined path, it becomes more defined more well worn and the path that was well worn, that’s no longer being used as much starts to fade away as plants and everything over grows it. So our brains want us to stay on the well worn path. We want to keep doing the things that we’ve always done that safe. It’s known it’s more comfortable, right, it takes less energy to travel along that path, because you’re already familiar with it, you can do it on autopilot. You don’t have to think about it, and the well worn path here, in this scenario that I’m talking about is your current money habits. So that path may look like not considering your long term goals when you’re making decisions. It might look like spending just because you have money in your account, even if you aren’t planning to buy. It may look like buying the thing, because it’s on sale, without really considering whether you want it, it might look like not planning ahead, and it’s typically about remaining comfortable or seeking pleasure or avoiding discomfort. When you set out to accomplish something new, paying off debt, building your emergency fund, saving for something growing your net worth, whatever your money goal is that will inevitably feel uncomfortable. You’re going off the beaten path into this unknown area, and it takes more discipline, because you’re doing something different from what you normally do. It often involves making some short term sacrifices that lead to your long term goals. And so your brain will try to steer steer you away from the new path, which often looks like choosing to do things that may feel easier or feel good in the moment, but that don’t align with your goal. So those things are keeping you from the things you actually want. So let’s get into a few examples. Looking first at a non monetary example, when I was in law school I had a goal to graduate in the top 10% of my class. And part of that goal involves a study schedule that laid out, which subjects I will be studying during which times and what I would be doing during each of those blocks. Sometimes I would sit down to read or outline or go over my notes, or whatever it was that I was planning to do at that time, whatever thing, it was that was going to bring me closer to my goal and I would decide that actually, I need to organize my closet, or something else random right especially if it was a subject that I wasn’t enjoying, or that I was having difficulty with. And the same thing happens a lot with people on social media, Like I don’t want to do this thing so I’m gonna go scroll Instagram instead. I wasn’t really big on social media for years like up until maybe last year, although I’m more active on platforms now, but my closet has always been a happy place for me especially, you know, the closet that I have now, and even back in law school, like I enjoyed my closet. So going through my clothes and deciding which ones I’m still wearing and which ones I can donate and putting everything in the order I want and all that was fun to me, and it was much easier than outlining conflicts or whatever, but it was a distraction. Right, I didn’t really want to put in the effort of studying at that time. So in my mind, subconsciously, of course, it was like, Oh, this is hard. I should go organize my closet instead. And then when I gave into those things. I spent time that I could have spent working toward my goal on something that didn’t move me forward. The same thing happens sometimes with money goals, especially if you’re new to setting them and it’s this new pathway that you’re trying to form in your brain. So I’ve seen it with some of our clients with their goals, where they get to the end of the month, and they didn’t hit their goal because there was a good deal on these things that they weren’t planning to buy or some friends came to town, so we had to treat them to dinner or drinks or whatever, basically spending money on things, they weren’t planning to spend on and then not being able to use that money for their goals, and it happens just about everyone at some point or another so I’m not gonna lie and say like, Oh, I’ve always hit my goals, I’ve never gone over budget right, I’ve never bought something that I didn’t want to buy or wasn’t planning to buy, but I’ll tell you, like I told them. When you get sidetracked like this, and you’re spending money that you weren’t planning to spend, and you’re not able to hit your goals, you’re effectively prioritizing those other things over this thing you say you want this call that you’ve made that unplanned spending is keeping you from hitting your goals, and again it’s coming from this place of it being easier or feeling good in the moment to spend this money. That’s where your brain is already comfortable so it doesn’t take the same effort to spend the money as it does to stick to your plan, but in the end, you’re robbing yourself, not only of the goal that you set. But whatever other benefits will come from that goal. And so my clients weren’t looking at it that way. So they were able to put it in that perspective, and make decisions from that place going forward once we talked about. And maybe the other things that you end up spending money on actually are more important to you, then whatever goal you’re working on, but you want to think about that and affirmatively make that decision, not on the back end realize, oops I spent too much on other stuff so I didn’t hit my goal this month to keep you on track, or to help you when you are working toward these goals and you have things that come up like this I’ve got a few tips that you can keep in mind. So the first one is to actually review your goals. And if you don’t have goals sets up, but you get what you focus on, right. Many of us make goals, and then set them aside and don’t think about them again. You want to put your goals in front of you review them regularly. Think about why you’re going to achieve this goal, and the impact that achieving it will have the next tip is to plan ahead. Your budget is your plan, you want to set a budget for the month. And if you’re not sure how to do that head back to Episode 17 We want to make sure your budget includes space for entertainment or eating out or whatever the thing is that usually takes you off track. And the key here is to stick to your plan, although of course, you can make adjustments if necessary. Tip number three. If you find yourself about to spend on something that’s not in your plan. Ask yourself if this thing is more important than the goal you set for yourself. It may be that it actually is, but you want to make that decision consciously as I said before, not on the back end realize that you didn’t hit your goal, because you spent on this other thing. And finally, Tip number four is to put yourself in places with others who are working toward or have accomplished similar goals. So that could be in person or virtual, but just somewhere where your goals and the new habits you’re establishing are the norm. There is so much power and seeing other people doing the same things you’re doing. And if you know you need to do something different, something needs to change with your money and you like support and accountability on your journey, I’m here, so you can head to rho Thomas comm slash coaching, and let’s set up a time to chat. Alright so that’s it for this week’s episode, come join me over on Instagram my handle there is at I am rho Thomas, You can also find me on LinkedIn, and let’s continue this conversation. If you haven’t already please subscribe to the podcast and leave a written review both of those things help more people find the show. And finally, please think of a friend or two who could use this information and share it with them. All right, friend, as we close out, I pray that you will take a second to consider whether you’ve been prioritizing what feels good in the moment, over what you truly want. I pray that if you find yourself in that place, you will recommit to your goals and make progress toward them. And as always, I pray that you continue to take steps to regain control of your time, build wealth and live the life of freedom and choice, you deserve. Talk to you later.