137 | Choosing Your Hard

Many lawyers put off learning to manage their money better because they think it will be hard. Change feels uncomfortable. New sometimes feels hard.

But we overlook the fact that it also feels hard and uncomfortable to want to change your situation and not be where you want to be yet.

In this episode, let’s talk about the concept of choosing your hard and leaning into the discomfort of change.

• the difficulty and discomfort of doing something new
• having good reasons for why you can’t or won’t change your spending habits
• why staying the same is easier in the moment but not in the long term
• the difficulty and discomfort of your current situation
• the choice you get to make with your finances
• what to do if you want things to change
• why getting out of your comfort zone is not necessarily a bad thing

Episode 59: Building Wealth Through Delayed Gratification

Episode 135: Buckets of Money

If you’re ready to learn the mindset and strategies to master your money, let’s schedule a call.

You’re listening to Wealthyesque. We are a community of lawyers who believe that true wealth is having control of our time. I’m Rho Thomas, and as a busy wife, mom and former Biglaw associate, I know all too well the tension between the culture of the legal profession and pretty much everything else you want to do in life. That’s why each week, I’m bringing you the information and tools you need to improve your money mindset and manage your money to create true wealth. Because ultimately, it’s not about the money. It’s about the freedom and flexibility the money affords.

Hey friend. Welcome back to the show. I hope you’re doing well and having an amazing day so far. Today we are talking about choosing your hard. Sometimes people put off the work of managing their finances better because they think it feels hard. Managing your money better requires you to do things that you’re not used to doing. You have to change the way that you are currently managing your money in order to achieve different results to achieve the results that you want. Like paying off debt saving and building wealth. And that change can feel uncomfortable, right? It can feel hard sometimes, although I’d offer that it’s not nearly as hard or uncomfortable as we often imagine it will be. But I know it takes effort to think about how you want to use your money ahead of time and plan your spending accordingly and follow through with that plan. Or like we talked about in the episode about delayed gratification. It can feel hard when there’s something that you want right now and you have the money for it. But you know buying it will take you off course from the goals that you have for yourself. It can feel hard to not buy that thing now and hold out until you get to where you want to be. I’ve even talked with lawyers who have been in situations where money was very tight and they wanted to fix their situation. But they had all these reasons why they couldn’t or wouldn’t change things and why they had to keep spending on these things at this level. And to be clear they were what many people would consider good reasons and reasons that others might agree will make it feel hard to change things. It feels easier sometimes to just stick with what you’ve been doing and not change anything and not make intentional decisions about what to do with your money ahead of time and not cut out some things or cut down on some things. And the thing is easier in the moment. It’s easier to go out to eat when you feel like it and hit the buy now button on Amazon and keep managing your money the way you’ve been doing it and not thinking strategically about your spending and the implications that your spending has for your overall finances. But the effects of continuing to manage your money that way feel hard. The stress you feel especially around payday when your money is dwindling down or your credit card balances are rising. The shame you feel about not having your finances under control because you’re a lawyer and you’re the one who made it and you feel like you should have it figured out by now feeling like you don’t have enough money even though you make more than some people can even dream of that feels hard to. And so that’s where this concept of choosing your hard comes from. Both situations are hard. Even though it feels hard to change your money management habits. Not knowing how to manage your money feels hard to even though you’ll have to expend more energy to think about your spending ahead of time and stick with your plan. You’re also expending a lot of energy now with the amount of time you spend thinking about money and feeling stressed or worried about your finances. Even though it may feel uncomfortable to do something different. You’re also feeling uncomfortable now with your current finances. Making changes might feel hard, especially when it’s a situation where the change means giving up something that you have now or putting off getting something that you want now. It feels just as hard to feel stressed to feel shame to not know whether you can buy something because at the end of the month, you’re not sure if this charge is going to overdraft your account All of that feels hard to all of that feels uncomfortable too, so you get to choose what hard what discomfort, you’re willing to feel. Would you rather make the hard decision to give up this thing or stop doing that thing as much, or change this other thing? Or would you rather make a hard decision to keep living on the edge feeling stressed or your mind being super tight? You get to decide if it’s worth the hard stuff to change your financial situation or not. You can always choose to stay where you are. Continue to manage your money the way that you are now getting to spend your money the way that you are now and keep everything the way it is now. Like we talked about in the buckets of money episode. Just recognize that that’s a choice you’re making. And if you don’t want to continue with your money the way you are now that something has to change. Don’t just throw your hands up and say, Oh, it’s hard for me to do this or, well, I need to keep spending on this because of XYZ or I can’t change that because of ABC. You always have a choice. You’re gonna feel uncomfortable either way. It’s gonna feel hard either way, but I always, always, always suggest choosing the hard that leads to where you want to be. Choose the hard that moves you forward toward the goals that you’ve set for yourself. Don’t choose to stay where you are now and not make changes because you’re afraid that it’ll be hard to do something different. It’s hard now, where you are now is hard. I don’t think people think about that. Like when we are afraid to put in the work to get to a different place. We don’t think about the fact that staying in the current place not having what we want is also hard or uncomfortable. Yes, change takes you out of the status quo out of the comfort zone of where you are right now. But you have to remember that you don’t want to be where you are right now. You want to be somewhere else. So is it really a bad thing to leave that comfort to get to where you want to be? I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing that it feels hard to change. I think going through the discomfort gets us ready to have the thing that we want. And I’ve talked before about lottery winners and professional athletes and how many of them end up bankrupt when that money is no longer coming in. They weren’t ready to handle it. They were approaching it the same way that they approached the lower amounts of money they had before the riches. It’s the same thing here. When you want to make a change going through the discomfort of that change. The work of achieving the goals you want prepares you to have the results you want. You get to choose your hard. You get to choose whether you want to make those changes whether you want to make some possibly difficult decisions at times to achieve the ultimate goals that you have for yourself. Listen, although it may feel difficult or uncomfortable to change, the actual process of managing your money better is quite easy. It’s not about cutting out everything and not spending any money and never buying anything new again. It’s about making decisions about what’s important to you. And following through on those decisions. There might be times that that feels hard or uncomfortable because you’re doing something new and that’s okay. That’s a good hard a good discomfort, right? You want to move toward that discomfort because it’s getting you to where you want to be. So when you are tired of the hard of the status quo and you’re ready to make a change, you should absolutely come work with me. I will 100% help you so head to rho thomas.com/waitlist To get started. Alright, that is it for this week’s episode. Come connect with me on social media you can find me most often on LinkedIn rho, Thomas, and Instagram I am rho Thomas. Subscribe to the show and leave a review both of which help more people to find it. And please think of a friend or two who could use this information and share the episode with them. As we close out friend, I pray that you take the information you learn here, apply it in your life and open up to the realization that wealth is available to you. As you do that consistently. Week after week. You’ll continue to take steps to regain control of your time, build wealth and live the life of freedom and choice you deserve. Talk to you later.